Seasons....

I was taking a walk this afternoon and pondering this season and the beauty in it. I attempted to take notice of all the details around me. Which lead me to reflecting on the details of my life and how God has woven so many things together just this year.

I am in a season I have dreamed and thought about for the last 3 yrs. The things I prayed for and envisioned have come to pass and I am SO over the moon thankful for it! But now I find myself in a very interesting time because I don't know what's next. 

In my walk I began to think about friends who thought they had more "seasons" left and sadly their season of life ended sooner than they expected. I felt the nudging in my spirit to sit on that for a bit. Sadly I don't take in and appreciate where I'm at and what I have because I can get so wrapped up in my planning and forward thinking. Sometimes I have to make myself sit, be still, and be thankful. Taking time to reflect and see all the details God has orchestrated to put me in this particular place for just this moment.

When I painted this it was for someone I didn't know. God showed me all the details of each item as I went along, as it created a story. It was in this He spoke to me about the details of my own life....
The Painful Season = I needed to know that He is my strength.
The Lonely Season = I needed to know Him personally.
The Beautiful Season = I needed to know His goodness.
The Quiet Season = I needed to learn how to sit and be still to be closer to Him.

In Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 It lists all the different seasons that life has for us, the good and the bad. Know that God has you in this season for a reason. Seize it and suck every opportunity and lesson from it! Don't perceive your season as a curse but a time of blessings. I love that as this passage continues in verse 11, it promises that God makes EVERYTHING beautiful in its time even though we can't perceive it here on earth.
Hold close to God who has a great plan for you, with hope for your future, where His power is made perfect in our weakness, and that He will never leave you.

 I hope this encourages you to find a quiet moment to count your blessings and see your season as a gift of love.

(((Hugs,Luvs,&Blessings)))

 

The Figurehead

Within the last couple years I have been truly blessed by the relationships God has given me. He has been showing me things about myself through some very strong and Godly women. I never saw myself as a leader, but more as a loner. It has been through heartache, struggle and love that God has shown me who I am in Him. 

As His daughters,each one of us has been called out to stand tall representing Him in confidence, to speak truth, to shine the light for others to see the way, and need to be prepared to fight the good fight of faith. It is also choosing to surround yourself with people who will come along side you, pray with you, encourage you, and allow them to be your armor bearers of strength. Because you weren't designed do it alone! 

(Self Sufficiency is a lesson I'm still working on)

I was inspired to paint this in honor of the women who have walked with me, been examples to me, shown love to me, prayed with me, cried with me, and saw something in me that I couldn't see in myself. 

It is upon the bow of the ship, that she sails,

A strong oak figure that fights through the gales.

She stands firm with truth around her waist,

She is guided by her captain, who doesn't move in haste.

Her lantern in hand to light the way,

With bow and arrows ready to slay.

She takes up the shield that guards her with faith,

That protects and encourages her along the way.

She is confident and at rest in her direction,

For she know and trusts the Great Sea Captain.

She is a princess with a warrior’s spirit,

She carries a message for all who want to hear it.

“It is true love that calls out to you,

You are chosen dear one, my beloved - I love you!”

                                    -Jenn Bryan 3/14/15

                 

Is there any god like our God?

Are we not at bedrock?

Is not this the God who armed me;

then aimed me in the right direction?

Now I run like a deer,

I'm king of the mountain.

He shows me how to fight,

I can bend a bronze bow!

You protect me with salvation-armor;

you hold me up with a firm hand,

caress me with your gentle ways.

You cleared the ground under me

so my footing was firm.

Psalm 18:31-36 MSG

A fun side note: It was after I did this painting that I had watched the new Hunger Games movie, "Mocking Jay" and realized that all my arrows were painted red. Just as Katniss was given some very special and explosive arrows, so has our God given them to us!

The Tree and Me...

 This last weekend I was invited to celebrate my friends birthday. Her husband surprised her with a 3 hr. "art lesson" for her and her friends with dinner and drinks. I went excited and very confident because I knew I was going to be the "artist" in the group. That was until it was explained that this was more of an exercise with an interpretive meaning. The teacher had a piece done, to lead us into our own version of what we were suppose to do. It was something I was very uncomfortable with! I have never painted to paint. I paint with purpose, planning, and definition. To let paint find its way onto a canvas is overwhelming because there's no logic to it. 

 We were instructed to choose a color. I chose red because its the color of passion, a sunrise or sunset, love...one of my favorite colors. I thought this was all pretty random. As I began, I immediately took my own route because I could not understand his painting. It intimidated me! Then I began to loose my vision for what I thought I wanted my painting to become. With much frustration I stopped and gave in to what was there. It was a stupid painting, anyway, were my thoughts. Then it was time to add a tree. As you can see in this picture all the trees were very different, but mostly have the same concept, except for 2. As I looked at the red painted canvas I couldn't see a "regular tree" belonging there. I saw the orient. I could see a  place where a particular tree had purpose and made since. Immediately, I knew I needed to paint a bonsai. tree! Quickly looking it up to reference its shape, I took to painting it. I began to relax a bit because I was finally seeing something that had shape and some point of direction. To leave it in this "finished" state drove me crazy because the way I saw it, it wasn't finished nor near complete. It was time to display all the paintings up front to review, and give some insight into each person and maybe why they painted what they painted. I really hated this part! 

 The words I received left me feeling hungry for more answers that night. When I got home I tossed and turned till the wee hours of the morning trying to understand a little more about myself. The "stupid painting" wasn't just a stupid painting anymore. It was a reflection of me. At church we sing this song about living a life without boarders and its become a bit of a prayer of mine. I began asking God what was I supposed to see in all this. He began showing me that we are designed for a special purpose. That all the pruning and shaping creates a thing of beauty and when placed in the right setting it adds to its environment. The life we are called to live is blurred, with no definition, and that our plans , visions, and expectations most likely will change. Realizing that where I thought I was most comfortable and confident, how quickly lack can come in. How much I need to learn to let go and trust God in where He is placing me. It is challenging me even more to not just sing the song but to live out the words of this song. Oceans (Where Feet May Fail), Hillsong United http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8mZpGj29qw 

 God is so full of grace and love! He will take us places we could never dream possible, when we yield to His plans for our lives and grab hold of his loving and strong right hand.

   

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 

                                                                                - Isaiah 41:10

Right There Waiting For You

My journey in discovering God for myself began in 2006, when my husband got an offer to move us to MN for 3 months. I knew something was coming because just 6 months before I was washing dishes and almost audibly heard a voice telling me to "prepare to move". It seemed silly, ridiculous, and impossible. I had 2 small children and didn't know diddly about MN, but my sense of adventure had me jump at the challenge.
When I got there my excitement soon faded. I felt lost, lonely, and totally forgotten. I was right where God wanted me! God was gracious enough to send me 3 angels, the Crust family, Rosedahl family, and the Yasseri family. Through them, He provided friendships and began showing me my need for people, along with several others that came later.
Minnesota is known for its 10,000 lakes. One of my dreams was living with a lake view, needless to say I was thrilled that in driving or walking distance there were picturesque lake views and places for God to quiet my spirit. When winter settled in that year I began to really feel alone because when its 0 - -30 degrees you don't get out much. That's when my desperation turned me to God and for the first time I began to finally see Jesus! I sang, prayed, cried, and I began to hold onto those little pieces of me that He was shinning a light on. One devotional that I read that really stuck with me was that in the winter everything seems to be dead, but deep in the ground the root growth happens. After I read that I looked outside to see the snow covered sleeping bushes and understood. This was a season of opportunity for growth for me and it was going to be deep and there was going to be promise that came with it.
Our 3 months turned into 9 months and another move for us to return was planned and we returned 6 months later! Thank goodness, the relationships remained and our location was about the same. Things felt a little different the 2nd time. As I began taking somethings for granted and began to become resentful. I was hurt because I was jealous of the relationships everyone around me and away from me was having and that I was "only temporary". I had one of those Nancy Kerrigan "Why, God Why?" moments. (Yes, I can be a bit dramatic)I had begun to close my heart because I was hurt and tired of feeling like a drifter. I complained about everything, but God was still good. He sent me a reminder that He was still with me and it began to tender and warm my heart. He wasn't going to let me grow cold! (There's another story in this story, later)
After making a couple more moves we had finally came back to our home in GA. It wasn't long before we got the call again to move back to MN. This time it would be further south and away from everything that was familiar. At this point I now had 3 children and was homeschooling my older two. I knew I was going to need something to keep me happy so I requested 1 thing, a lake view. We moved to Chaska, MN on one of the hottest day of that year. It was July 1st of 2011 when I walked into our new home with great anticipation of my view....blocked by a forest. SERIOUSLY God!!!! God has a way of testing us and showing us how far we've come especially when we don't even realize it. Think Karate Kid....you know the wax on wax off moves that saved the karate kids butt later.
Our apt had a strong ciggarret smell that seeped through our kitchen and filled our apt. due to the down stairs neighbor, the view was trees, and not a friend near by. Here I was again struggling and trying to keep my sanity. I was deterrmend to not let this time go by without gaining some ground with God again. After I wallowed and had my "Israelite moment" I made myself get up every morning to have a quiet time. I became depresserate for Him again! I prayed for clean air and I began to thank Him for where he had me. I began to thank him for the fall that was to come because then the trees would sleep and the promise of my view would come! This is where I learned the life lesson of praising my way through difficult circumstances.
As mid September came I began to notice a reflective light of rippling water dancing on our ceiling for about 20 mins everyday and when I saw it I gave thanks to God for the view I could not see but for the view that was to come. We had found a church, we were getting involved and the neighbor down stairs was moving... hallelujah! Autumn soon came and the curtain of leaves began to fall revealing the view I had anticipated! Soon the sights and sounds of geese and ducks came. Their calls ringing out to one another to gather together for their preparations to fly south for the winter. As I stood out on that deck I began asking God for this view to one day be mine, as a reminder for my time in MN, and I began thanking him for the lake house I would one day have.

Fast forward to March of this year, on a late Saturday night. Doing some "frivolous" searches for lake side properties, we came across one that seemed almost to good to be true. We made the apt to see it and fell in love! It was more than we had ever hoped for, could have dreamed of, and even thought possible. It was a place I knew could quiet my soul and would be the reminder of how good God is. We took our savings and stepped out in faith, believing and receiving what was before us. I write this to say this....God never leaves us and never forgets us or our dreams. It is us who need to come expecting and anticipating that something good is going to happen for us. That even in the hardest of times our perception of life is only a prayer away and God can change our hearts to see clearly the things he has and had right there waiting for us.

Habakkuk 2:2-3 And the Lord answered me and said, Write the vision and engrave it so plainly upon tablets that everyone who passes may be able to read it easily and quickly as he hastens by. For the vision is yet for an appointed time and it hastens to the end: it will not deceive or disappoint. Though it tarry, wait earnestly for it, because it will surely come; it will not be behindhand on its appointed day.

Comfort of The Father

   If you ever asked me what memories I have of my dad this would be what I would have pictured in my head.When I found this picture of this little girl in a military magazine, many years ago, I took it and have kept it in my art reference folder, and have redrawn her multiple times. She is what held fast in my mind as memories of my dad....waiting. You see, my dad served our US Navy and his being gone was part of my childhood. Watching military homecomings now will just make me weep!
Over the last several years I have struggled with this being the memory of my dad and the effects that it has had on my perception of my Heavenly Father. I knew the feeling of knowing who I belonged to and that I was loved....but where was he/He. It's funny how our minds get stuck in the darker hours of our lives that we forget about the provision and the love that is shown more often than not. (Need biblical understanding see story of the Israelites in Exodus)

Today I was asking God to show me a good memory of something regarding my dad. As I watched our pastors wife prophesying over several people I saw this man walking back to his seat, after being up front for prayer. There waiting was his daughter. She wrapped her arms around his waist and as he pulled her close, this memory rushed to the fore front of my mind... 

 It was the picture of me sitting next to my dad, in church, with his dress jacket draped over me, keeping me warm. 

God began speaking to me about these things and what each one represented: 

 The "sweet spot" was always under the arm of my dad. It brought comfort, warmth, and security. Just like being under the wings of God (Psalm 17:8 Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings. NIV)

 The covering of the coat was to show favor. I was 1 of 3 daughters and my dad showed each one of us a great deal of love, knowing each of his daughters needed a different language of love spoken to her. 

  There was the smell of his cologne that was so familiar and comforting to me. It represented the sweet aroma of the Holy Spirit that intoxicates, awakens, and anoints the spirit within me, now. 

  Lastly and most importantly there was the investment of time of bringing our family to the House of God every Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night. Not any one church we attended was ever perfect, but it was the seeds that were sown with each attendance that found its way into my heart. It will be these seeds that will produce the fruit for the next generation. 

 My earthly father is a great man of integrity, honesty, hard working, and is a compassionate man of God with a silent strength that lies within him. He may not be the man that would stand out in a crowd, but it's been in those times that I have learned how God sees and rewards those who are diligent in seeking after Him. That is the GREATEST gift any father can give their child! Thank you dad for all that you've done and the example that you are now to me and our "next generation"! 

God Will Take Care of You

"God Will Take Care Of You"

Be not dismayed what e'er be tide

God will take care of you
Beneath His wings of love abide
God will take care of you


God will take care of you
Through every day, o'er all the way
(He will care for you)
God will take care of you


Through days of toil when heart doth fail
God will take care of you
When dangers fierce your path assail
God will take care of you


God will take care of you
Through every day, o'er all the way
He will care for you
God will take care of you


God will take care of you
Through every day, o'er all the way
He will care for you
God will take care of you

When I was a young child a wonderful older couple come into my family's life. They spoke love and life over us. They were Mr. Esko and Mrs. Trudy Halila. They were a true gift from God at a time when my military family needed a family. They would have us over for lunches on those Sunday afternoons when my dad was out to sea and other times when he was home from duty. They babysat me and my sister to give my mom some help and encouraged and prayed for her along the way. One of my favorite memories of them was crawling up into Mr Halila's lap and listening to the low tone of his voice singing "God Will Take Care of You" and "How Great Thou Art" while being accompanied by a wind-up music box. Then there was the walks outside in their yard looking at Mrs. Halila's blue hydrangea bushes, eating her mini fried hamburgers, and the smell of their home still runs deep in my memory bank and warm in my heart. I was 4-6yrs old when they were in our lives. The seeds they sowed and the prayers they prayed impacted me, even still to this day.  At times I will find myself humming this tune when I feel lost, alone, or unsure because it has that great of a meaning in my life. I know that when I feel like God is no where to be found He will take care of me through the people I know, the kindness of a stranger, or even a visit from an angel :). I know that He is there when I run out of faith and begin to wonder how can I possibly get through this....It is when I seek after Him that I find Him just waiting there, with open arms, ready and willing to help me. All I have to do is ask. He has proven to be faithful every season of my life! He can and will in yours too!

I write this in honor of our brave men and women who have fought for us, sacrificed for us, and who have died for us. Thank You from the bottom of my heart!!! May God bless you and your families! May you find that God is taking care of you, where ever you are.

If you ever get the opportunity to reach out to one of these very special families please know it means the world to them. I was the little girl who was forever changed by the love of this couple who was willing to be the hands and feet of Jesus. 

A Mother's Song...

      "A Mother's song is played in the heart and life of her child." 

  When I was a child my home was full of the sound of my mother singing and playing her piano. It brought a great deal of comfort to her at certain times of her life. It was the way she praised God, ministered to others, and enjoyed the gift God gave her. There are many memories of sitting next to her and "playing along" with her. She was what I wanted to become! 

 Soon the love of her songs faded and I grew to be the teenager that was too good and cool for those childish songs. Still she sang on, but the songs grew to be more of an orchestrated dance of service and ministry. I rolled my eyes and thought of how I couldn't wait to one day never hear those songs again. Still she played and sang on. 

 As I grew older and in my 20's I still watched and observed her life with a bit of doubt and thoughts of how I didn't want to be anything like her. I was full of immaturity and self discovery.  Then I became a mother...

  It's funny how all things change when you become, the mom! My mothers songs and life decisions became the rough draft for my life.  I began desiring to find myself, as a mom, and find ways that I could leave this same deep seeded impression on my own children and community. It's these "songs" that were planted deep in my heart that have made me the woman that I am and continue to become. 

 I have also had the blessing of the accompaniment of many other seasoned mothers with their love, comfort, and guidance throughout my life. It is their life's melody's that to play in my life creating a beautiful song that God is orchestrating in me.

 Many Thank You's to the many Mothers in my life. I am blessed! To my mom, Thank you for your continued song. 

 And the beat goes on.....